A New Year Has Just Begun


I received a darling picture of my oldest granddaughter yesterday. She was all dressed in her 1st day of pre-school finery. Sitting on the stoop of her house, she carried the weight of her most prized possession, a striped hot pink backpack strung over her shoulders. In a sense, a new year has just begun.

My husband called while on the road to say our youngest son had put his beloved home for sale. He and his family of five including my Babies of Two are moving to a new state because of his job. Perhaps their present home has been a stepping stone to where they are meant to be? I’m praying for my son and daughter-in-law to find a new home that they love. A home to raise their babies in for a long, long while. A house that one day, the kids may even begin to skip off to school.

In talking to my father, he told me the doctors found another large lump on the back of his wife’s neck. They had already done another MRI and would be coming back to discuss treatment. She can’t even get out of bed. I spoke to my father, asking him if I could be ‘honest’ with him.

“Yes, of course, always,” he answered.

I went on to tell him of my good friend, and excellent internist who began a terrific Hospice House here in St. Louis in order to focus on palliative care. My father had met my friend in the past and knew he was a good man.

Finally, my father hesitated before speaking. “I’ve been thinking and I don’t want to put her through anything more. I just want to take her home to the house she loves. I want her to look at the desert stars before she falls asleep and for her to see the sun rise above the mountains in the morning.”

With those words, my father cried. Before I even spoke to him, he had already begun to accept the idea of hospice and was preparing himself to let her go… Today he hopes to take her home where they will simply love each other until death they do part. Tomorrow is their four-month wedding anniversary.

There are still two more weeks before I finally move into my own new house. Yes, I know, it has seemed forever…..My goal was to find something close to my son and daughter-in-law who are expecting their third baby around Christmas. At the same time, I wanted to be near nature if possible, have room for an office, and a sleeping area for visiting grand-babies.

Well, my husband and I feel very fortunate as we enter this last stage of our lives. Our new home is only a short distance from family, and although smaller and very different on the inside, it looks very much like the outside of our current house. We plan to use the formal dining room as an office where I’ll soon write from my half-moon desk in a windowed turret just as I’ve done for many years.

Next to our bedroom is a small space that will be used for the grandchildren’s sleeping room. Bunk beds and a white spindled crib will soon be rolled in beneath a breezy fan. The closet is already stacked with shelves to fill toys and puzzles soon to be spilled upon the wooden floor.

On the back of the house is a full length screened porch where painted wicker furniture awaits future family gatherings. A round glass table will be set with plates for summer BBQ or early evening board games. Nearby, a chair teeters back and forth. In the spring, I’ll rock the next bundled baby close to my beating heart.

As mentioned above, my husband and I feel very fortunate. Our new house is in subdivision encompassing a dedicated nature preserve. The view from the back of our house is tall trees where a walking path winds over a small stream and through the thick of overgrown wildflowers. A few minutes to the left are trails surrounding a 15-acre lake stocked with fish for catch and release. No boats are allowed, only wildlife and the stillness of peace.

I’ve missed the whole of summer which feels like the whole of a year. Family issues have been filled with stress, but in the end, life begins anew. God has parted a curtain. The previews have finished with the main feature now in full play. And, although I don’t know the ending, I’m certainly looking forward to living again.

Yes, in a sense a new year has just begun.

God’s Messages


Earlier this week, I took a break between different passages of my work.  Bundling up to venture into the cold of what remained of winter, I walked for blocks not far from home.  My mittened hands were pocketed while breathing in piercing cold air of wonder.  Walking through woods of barren trees and trickled frozen streams, I prayed to God for guidance.  New forks in the road presented themselves.  That’s what life is all about…

There in the crunchy snow were sets of deer tracks, two by two, side by side.  I followed them.  Curious, I wasn’t sure where they would lead.  Would I catch a glimpse of awe ahead of me?  A doe with her young nestled closely by her side for warmth, or a buck guarding his family amidst the confines of his openness?  The deer tracks made me think of life, I guess.  Oddly, they came to no end, yet somewhere God’s creatures were hidden within.

Upon returning home, I stretched upon my bed with a tablet upon my lap.  There, I was able to view our little forest land from a large bay window while tapping keys and moving a mouse.  It’s important to see the outdoors to energize me.  The sun shined through window blinds, leaving patterned shadows of cabbage roses against the walls.

After a moment or two, I looked up from my laptop to glance outdoors.  Snowflakes fell full and fast down from the sunlit sky of blue.  Such a beautiful sight!  It was as if God was sifting powdered sugar over one of my grandmother’s sweetened cakes from long ago.  At that second, I couldn’t believe it, but it was true!  Not one, or two nor three or four, but even more.  A whole herd in fact gently bounded past my view.  A tall, strong buck seemed to lead the way, five points or more.  Together, they danced and pranced proudly, maneuvering through the path of woods until they were beyond my sight, past the window panes.

It’s about twenty degrees today, but I dare not complain.  The sun lights a Delft blue sky, leaving snow, the color of marshmallow cream upon the ground.  Deer tracks can be seen near my patio.  Messages from God to be thankful.  Hints of the future, of what may come to be for me.

 

*edited and reposted from 2/11/14/pictures courtesy of Google Chrome

 

God’s Messages


Sunday afternoon I took a break between different passages of my work.  Bundling up to venture into the cold of what remained of winter, I walked for blocks not far from home.  My mittened hands were pocketed while breathing in piercing cold air of wonder.  Walking through woods of barren trees and trickled frozen streams, I prayed to God for guidance.  New forks in the road presented themselves.  That’s what life is all about……..

There in the crunchy snow were sets of deer tracks, two by two, side by side.  I followed them.  Curious, I wasn’t sure where they would lead.  Would I catch a glimpse of awe ahead of me?  A doe with her young nestled closely by her side for warmth, or a buck guarding his family amidst the confines of his openness? The deer tracks made me think of life, I guess.  Oddly, they came to no end, yet somewhere God’s creatures were hidden within.

Upon returning home, I stretched upon my bed with a tablet upon my lap.  There, I was able to view our little forest land from a large bay window while tapping keys and moving a mouse.  It’s important to see the outdoors to energize me.  The sun shined through window blinds, so brightly it lit the room, leaving patterned shadows of cabbage roses against the walls.

After a moment or two, I looked up from my laptop to glance outside.  Snowflakes fell full and fast down from the sunlit blue sky.  Such a beautiful sight!  It was as if God was sifting powdered sugar over one of my grandmother’s sweetened cakes from long ago.  At that second, I couldn’t believe it, but it was true!  Not one, nor two or three or four, but even more……….A whole herd in fact gently bounded by my view.  A tall, strong buckled the way, five points or more.  They danced and pranced proudly, maneuvering through the path of woods beyond the sight of my window.

Its “0” degrees today, but I dare not complain.  The sun is shining brightly against a Delft blue sky, leaving marshmallow cream snow upon the ground.  Deer tracks can be seen near my patio.  Messages from God to be thankful for hints of the future……….