Infertility, Changes in Nature.


 

Long before marriage I knew pregnancy might be difficult for me. I lived with a Chronic Condition called, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome, which often causes infertility. My husband was aware and soon after the wedding, held my hand during medical consultations and accompanied me to doctor’s appointments where together, we decided on our first course of treatment, a low dose fertility drug. Squeezing my hand tightly we were ecstatic to learn a tiny heart might soon beat under my own within about four months.

Upon leaving the doctor’s office it was on to business. Thermometers, temperature charts, and pens and pencils were suddenly prized possessions, placed neatly in the top drawer of a nearby nightstand in order to chart monthly ovulation cycles. Whenever it was time, I telephoned my husband. We followed the ups and downs of my temperature chart to a T! Still, month after month it was not to be.

Eventually, I visited my doctor for another routine consultation. “It’s been nine months,” he said, matter-of-factly. “I can only keep you on this drug for one more cycle. Go home, relax and forget about it.” I left his office in tears. Fertility options were extremely limited back in 1980’s. I could only move on to an extremely powerful fertility drug with lots of potential complications or adoption. My husband and I had discussed adoption but knew it might take years to receive a baby.

That same weekend my husband and I traveled from our cozy bungalow on the west side of Bay City to northern Michigan for business, leaving my temperature chart at home. Our car crested a hill where the blue waters of Grand Traverse Bay https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Traverse_Bay, greeted us in the most beautiful of azure colors as far as our eyes could see. It was late spring, nearing summer. All four of the windows of our car were down. We giggled free as the fresh air blew our hair every which way. Scents of one season were ending while simultaneously, a new one was beginning. Nature was changing. Tall emerald pines danced among splashes of fruit trees on either side of the road with flowers budding into delectable delights of rosy apples and bright red cherries.

While my husband attended business meetings, I relaxed by the pool, read books, and drank sparkling water amid the peace and serenity of new surroundings. Six weeks later I learned I was pregnant. I was about to become a mother. The greatest gift to me.

Yes, nature was changing…..

*photos courtesy of Google Chrome

A Forever Family


It’s quiet here, dark and nearly silent except for the sound of wheels slowly rolling by. Intermittent, few and far between. Sleepy drivers headed off to work. I often wonder if they notice lights peeking from behind wooden blinds within my turret office space. The world has not yet woken to a new day dawning.

Life will never be the same from this day forward for a friend of mine who has struggled with the chronic condition of infertility. Yesterday, she and her husband were gifted the soft, sweet scents of a newborn baby boy during the twilight of yester night. Years of disappointment, medication, surgery, hope, miscarriage and financial hardship were finally rewarded with eight pounds of God’s miracle wrapped in cotton gauze at 7:02 pm.

It has been a difficult road for this friend of mine. For years and years, she too has been spinning her wheels. Rolling towards the day of motherhood.  She married rather late in life by most standards. At nearly 36, she hadn’t found the right guy until she literally bumped into him at a local post office near closing one day. She had been busy running her own company while he was climbing the ladder in the mortgage industry. Babies were not even thought of until marriage which came soon after that fateful bump in the postal parking lot.

My friend and her husband traveled on a romantic Hawaiian honeymoon, settled into a beautiful home and immediately practiced making babies together. No luck. A couple of years went by without anything happening. She felt her baby clock ticking. Seconds turned into minutes. Minutes tuned into months which soon turned into a couple of years. Time was running out.

Gray clouds of depression surrounded my friend wherever she went. Babies seemed to be everywhere. If she saw a mother cradling an infant or heard a family member announce a new pregnancy, tightness tugged at her belly of emptiness. How could life be so unfair?

Before long my friend and her husband went to see a fertility doctor who referred them to a renowned specialist. Together, they tried several different protocols. Fertility drugs brought them no success. Soon they moved on to IVF.  Hormone injections became a daily ritual followed by medical procedures, ultrasounds and careful monitoring. It was painful, frustrating and expensive. Twice, my friend felt the joy of early pregnancy, seeing two straight lines on an EPT test. Her husband smiled and big and wide while supporting her with all his might.  Both times, she miscarried shortly thereafter, once ironically on the very morning of Mother’s Day.

Approximately five months ago my friend called to say she was pregnant once again. “This is our last try,” she said, hopefully.  “I’ve taken a leave of absence from work to relax at home. No matter what happens, I’m going to enjoy this baby for as long as I have him.”

Tears of slight and salty ran down my face as I prayed for my friend together with her little family. Although unborn, the innocence within her womb was her last chance to birth a forever family.

So today I celebrate the miracle of life while congratulating my friend and her husband on their beautiful new bundle of baby blue. There are no words, not even for a writer to express what fills this new mother’s heart and soul as velvet skin rests upon the bare of her own for the very first time. It’s not only a new child that has been born into this world, but a forever family.

Welcome to the world little one.

*photo courtesty of Google

Parents with Baby

Infertility


From the time they were both children they knew they wanted to be parents one day.  As a little boy he played with Legos.  Later he grew to be an architect, designing their first house on a hill with a bedroom hiding a bunk for a daughter or a son.

When his wife was budding and sweet, she wrapped dolls in delicate dresses designed in her head.  Today, she works for a French baby boutique where she crafts delicate window displays.  This petite woman waves her magic wand fashioning the glass to look like a movie set fit for royalty.

This husband and wife have been to every doctor where they have tried all of the tests.  She has taken her assorted pills, held the glass thermometer under her tongue, and kept a paper chart with a pen.  With a kiss to the cheek, he’s given her the shots, and together they have endured rounds of IVF.   His wife has been poked and prodded and even tried surgery to give it her very best.

Now there are no more chances.  No more money in the bank to pay.  No more options for them.  No more ways to go.  They are finished, and all done, except for one.  Adoption.

Together they are the most wonderful couple, loving and warm.  They make a good living and have a better marriage than most.  They own a welcoming home that is ready and waiting for this baby of their own.  If blessed, the wife will stay home to raise her child of course.  It was never discussed or or whispered.  Silently understood it would always be her choice.

The nursery has been ready for years, I think now.  They want a baby so badly and yes, they’ve had a few close calls.  Everything is waiting for the blessed even.  The bear in the crib, books on the shelves and the stars on the walls.  If wind whispers the door may slightly open or the cradle may gently rock.   If you look up, “Humpty Dumpty” on the wall makes a sound, tick-tock…….tick-tock.

The latest word from the adoption agency has been a big fat D.E.N.I.A.L.  Is it because this couple would not be good parents?  Do they not have enough love to give to their baby-to-be?  No, the answer is simple.  The doting daddy is fifty.  Too old to give love to a child in the bureaucrat’s eyes you see.

Still, this team of husband and wife is mighty determined.  They have not given up.  They are filling out new forms and looking on the Internet.  A nursery is waiting for their baby to be……

Infertility Can Surprise You


 

Long before marriage I knew pregnancy might be difficult for me. I lived with a Chronic Condition called, Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polycystic_ovary_syndrome, which often causes infertility. My husband was aware and soon after the wedding, held my hand during medical consultations and accompanied me to doctor’s appointments where together, we decided on our first course of treatment, a low dose fertility drug. Squeezing my hand tightly we were ecstatic to learn a tiny heart might soon beat under my own within about four months.

Upon leaving the doctor’s office it was on to business. Thermometers, temperature charts, and pens and pencils were suddenly prized possessions, placed neatly in the top drawer of a nearby nightstand in order to chart monthly ovulation cycles. Whenever it was time, I telephoned my husband. We followed the ups and downs of my temperature chart to a T! Still, month after month it was not to be.

Eventually, I visited my doctor for another routine consultation. “It’s been nine months,” he said, matter-of-factly. “I can only keep you on this drug for one more cycle. Go home, relax and forget about it.” I left his office in tears. Fertility options were extremely limited back in 1980’s. I could only move on to an extremely powerful fertility drug with lots of potential complications or adoption. My husband and I had discussed adoption but knew it might take years to receive a baby.

That same weekend my husband and I traveled from our cozy bungalow in Bay City to northrn Michigan for business, leaving my temperature chart at home. Our car crested a hill where the blue waters of Grand Traverse Bay https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grand_Traverse_Bay greeted us in the most beautiful of azure colors as far as our eyes could see. It was late spring, nearing summer. The windows of our car were all the way down. We giggled free as the fresh air blew our hair every which way. Scents of one season were ending while simultaneously, a new one was beginning. Nature was changing. Tall emerald pines danced among splashes of fruit trees on either side of the road with flowers budding into delectable delights of edible apples and cherries.

While my husband attended business meetings, I relaxed by the pool, read books, and drank sparkling water under the warming sun. Six weeks later I learned I was pregnant. Yes, nature was changing….

*photos courtesy of Google Chrome