Taking Time for Change


Recently, I’ve gone through a period of feeling overwhelmed in life. Not depressed. No, I’d compare it to feeling like a small green pea in a big pot of vegetable stew. Small, while trying to stay afloat……

After helping my father with his wife’s memorial service in Arizona, I planned to catch a plane back to St. Louis where an estate sale was in process, selling off many of my home’s objects together with a long list of life’s memories.  Unfortunately, I was a day late getting back due to weather delays and missed connections. When time was of the essence, I ended up spending a total of 19 hours in the small airport of Grand Junction, Colorado. Finally, a day later, my plane was diverted to Denver, where I grabbed a quick nap from 3-5 am before catching a non-stop flight to my original destination.

Upon arriving, there was barely time to say “Goodbye” to the home I loved so much. Quickly, I walked through my turret office space, where blog posts were tapped on keys of black. I strolled into the periwinkle nursery where I remembered gently placing my very first grand-baby in her spindled crib, as though she was a porcelain doll. Images of magical tea parties danced in my head together with giggles, dress up play, and story book time.

Afterward, I stepped outside onto the red brick pavers of my patio where fingers traced petals of crunchy golden sunflowers. Looking around, I began to collect a few, forgotten colored clay pots leftover from my garden. Suddenly, a brown sugar doe leaped from the woods. Sighing, my heart knew it was God’s last gift to me….at least at this house, in this time.

It’s been three weeks since I’ve moved to my new house, and I’m mostly settled now. For whatever reason, my body and mind felt spent when all was said and done. In moves past, I worked until everything was completely in place, typically within a few days to a week. Not this time. I was tired. I let things go. My mind said, “No.”

I’m happy in my new home. There is lots of room for my grand-babies to stay for as long as they like. Nearby, there is a beautiful lake surrounded by woods and walking trails with lots of nature. In fact, it’s a nature preserve where I see something new each and every day. A different plant, the sound of a bird’s call or the beauty of a new sunrise.

Best of all, my overwhelming feeling is beginning to lift. I guess I didn’t drown in that pot of vegetable stew after all.

 

28 thoughts on “Taking Time for Change

  1. Congratulations on your move. We’re in the end stages of closing and I’m whipped. God provided a home for us in the nick of time, but this has been one of the most difficult things in life-especially at our age. I can’t wait until we’re done.

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  2. A small green pea in a big stew? If you felt so, you are mighty big, Kim, as, in reality, we are no more than tiny sparklers. You may have lost possession of the physicality of a structure with the old home transferring to new hands but memories of events and your time there remain to enrich a different place as you move into another dwelling in new environs. So speaks the pics…

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    • Awww…thank you for your most eloquent words of confidence and encouragement, Raj. Our grand-babies are already loving their new room together with making discoveries around the grounds. Lots of adjustments, but all good! Blessings to you and yours, Raj.

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  3. Beautiful pictures Kim. It looks as though you’ll have no trouble making new roots. Everybody needs a time out and it’s never a good idea to push ourselves beyond our limits. Blessings to you and your new home. ❤

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  4. Hi Kim,
    You are so brave moving house and making these changes. I still haven’t really got over both my grandparents’ homes being sold….one sold when I was about 16. I’m very sentimental like you and I end up trawling through charity shops and have turned our home into something like grandma’s house. I have so many antique tea cups, tablecloths, crockery antique wooden photo frames with old photos. This collecting really ramped up after the last of my grandparents died a few years ago. I was looking through some old photos of our house and there’s a clear line in the sand.
    I keep so many bits and pieces, all my kids artwork, unless there’s a double-up. Photos bursting out of my hard drive, photo albums but they’re all so precious. I don’t want to forget and I want the kids to have a way of connecting with this world of mine which is rapidly disappearing.
    Love & blessings,
    Ro

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    • Many times in life we have to be ‘brave’ in very different ways-you more than most people know this, Rowena. It was very difficult to ‘let go’ of treasures, but now I’m building new memories while adding them to the old. Like you, I kept a lot of my kids first ‘books’ and artwork. Much of it I passed on to them for their children. It feels good to be settled. Starting to plant trees now, adding them to existing ones in the back of my yard. Adding nature! 🙂

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      • I love that idea of planting trees and putting down roots, Kim. We planted quite a few trees when we first bought our place 15 years ago. We bought Australian natives as cheap tube stock and the ones which survived, are now towering over the roof. I on’t know if you’ve seen this but this is one of the trees we planted all grown up: https://beyondtheflow.wordpress.com/2016/08/21/bird-in-our-backyard-bottlebrush-tree/
        I am starting to get the importance of leaving room for the new, while trying to retain the old. That said, I like my Mum’s idea of buying a bigger house…not that she’s done it.
        Hope you have a great weekend, Kim!
        Love & Blessings,
        Ro

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