Once a tiny seed, a speck, a fleck
Barely fluttering heart so near
Inside my chest.
Love internal soon to grow
Hour and minute.
Weeks go by
Nearly a year
Soon you’ll be here.
Yes, I feel you deep within
Loving you more
Fluttering like before.
Bigger now, the whole of my heart
Close my eyes to dream
Of butterflies beautiful
Imagined, not yet seen.
Soon to be born
Cradle until you fly.
A gush, a splash
Astounding love envelopes me
Baby born, now you’re here
Skin to skin upon my chest
Pink and perfect
Suckle and cry
Tip-toe peeking while you sleep
Mine to keep.
Bursting heart with love to share
Holding you till the end of time
Rolling over, sitting up, grasping toys and giggling too.
First tooth, big smile and curly locks
Cuddling, kissing, wooden chair while daddy rocks.
Dreams of a lifetime snatched forever
Without warning, halting, stopping.
Half a year is not enough
I cry and shake and ask God, “Why?”
Clutching you, tiny fingers too
Nighttime crib, flannel sleeper, little life
My heart is broken, shattered glass
Pieces and shards, strewn over the blanket of life.
No greater loss
What to do, where to go, can’t survive without my child.
My heart has spilled, its empty now
Feeling nothing dark and dead.
Help me God, to understand
Dry my tears, give me strength
Pass the courage today and every tomorrow.
My babe is an angel that I know
Fluttering now outside my chest
She has her wings
Of a golden hue
Butterfly beautiful indeed
The tiny seed
Once a speck
Invisible fleck held so dear.
Needed in Heaven or so I’m told.
Take my hand to pray with me
Rock my baby night and day
A gift to me forever you see
Kiss her gently, love her too
Till I can join her next to You.
*For T in memory of her beautiful baby daughter, and to honor all parents who have lost their loving babies to SIDS. My heartfelt blessings and prayers to you.