As Long As You Both Shall Live…..


“As long as you both shall live.”

*Those are the last words I remember hearing thirty years ago today, May 19, 1984.  A few seconds later, I smiled beaming with the words, “I do.” Although only a step or two away from me, the minister’s gravelly voice seemed to echo from far, far away. Off in the distance….perhaps bouncing off trees in a lush forest land.

At the time, I had eyes and ears only for my soon to be husband. There he stood, facing me. His green eyes pierced the blue of my own while he gripped my hands, squeezing them. It was his signal before God that we would always be together. My soon-to-be husband would take care of me, protect me, love me, and be loyal and true. Thirty years later he has proven this together with much more good than I ever imagined.

On our beautiful, warm wedding day in May, the two of us had no idea where the road of life would lead. A fantasy land we did not expect. Nor, the reality we ended up living. Still, neither of us would change a thing, given the choice. We have been blessed beyond our wildest dreams.

When families raise a chronically ill child, there is a 75% or greater chance the marriage will end in divorce. My husband and I raised two children living with chronic conditions. Both were diagnosed at very young ages within six months of each other. I’m guessing our odds of divorcing might have increased at that point…

My husband traveled a minimum of 120 nights a year over a 20 year period as a district manager for an eye care company. He loved his job while I loved it for him. Still, it took a toll on the two of us. When the days and nights were added up, seven years of our marriage were spent apart from one another. I often resented him for being away, while he often resented me for being home to stay.  Eventually, we both had breaking points.

When needed, my husband was there for me, taking a short leave of  absence from work. He jumped right in, took care of our boys, washed clothes and even learned to cook! In return, I did the same for him when the time came. Isn’t that what couples do? We sought outside help to work on our marriage…more than once. No, it wasn’t always easy. I guess that’s why it’s called work. But, early on, we decided our marriage was worth it….we were worth it. For our children, for our family, for the whole of us.

There are lessons learned that I’ll pass on to others, now that I have the opportunity. Take time…any time for couplehood. A walk in the park, a cup of coffee or a simple hour to hold hands and talk. No, not about the kids! Do not lay blame…ever! It’s okay to cry, go ahead and ask God, why? Find a church, ask for help, don’t be proud, seek support, tell a friend, and take a break for heaven’s sake!

Today as I celebrate my 30th wedding anniversary, I am thankful for the best husband one could ever wish for in life. I thank God for every hardship we endured, every lesson learned. How wonderful to have lived through ALL of the good times and the bad, the happy and the sad. We have such a tremendous history filled with life riches together. Memories and moments, and more to come, God willing.

Happy Anniversary to my dear husband, with love, forever and always….

*Two years ago my husband and I never had an opportunity to officially celebrate our anniversary. So we’re off for a few days, enjoying the sun and sand while celebrating thirty years + two! Blessings to all of you.

 

31 thoughts on “As Long As You Both Shall Live…..

  1. Happy anniversary! Wishing you many more years of bliss, love, grace, strength, health…blessings! God bless you and your wonderful family!

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  2. Happy anniversary. May you have 30 more years together.
    I appreciate how you say marriage is work. People think everything is going to be honkey dorrey. Then, challenges arise and they are unable or unwilling to work on things. It’s a must!

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    • Thank you, Larry. We’ve seen so many close friends who were not willing to ‘put in the work. Life is work. Can’t imagine, ‘giving up’ on such a reward. 🙂

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  3. Congratulations for a wonderful post about a wonderful marriage! Certainly, a marriage like yours is a rarity these days, and I salute you and your husband for being together through thick and thin. I’m sure your two children chose you to be their parents. How fortunate they both are!

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    • I appreciate your kind comments so much, Rosanna. Misty eyed to think our children ‘chose’ us to be their parents…..What a generous thought. Thank you for being with me, Rosanna. My great-grandmother’s name was, “Rosanna.” I’m looking at her picture, now. A soul of gold…..

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  4. Hi Kim – well I actually read this earlier in the week – but could not reply – and wanted to come back and say congrats – woo hoo – and nice tips – and also – beautiful wedding photos – so nice. have a great weekend. 🙂 ~y.

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    • So sweet of you to take the time…coming back to comment. I appreciate it so much! Many thanks for your kind words. Blessings for a safe and happy weekend. 🙂

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  5. I had to go back farther, looking and studying this beautiful tribute to a long and wonderful marriage. You are truly blessed with a special husband and two fine children, who have overcome many of their challenges, with both of you strong, fighting for their best education and services, I am sure, along with loving together for over 30 years now! Wow! What a testament to your faith and love, Kim!

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    • Yes, when I think back, it’s been quite a journey. Many “Lessons” learned. So important not to ‘ever give up!’ God does leave a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow…Many thanks for your continued words of encouragement, kindness and never-ending support. Love and hugs to you.

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