My dreams are often like a drifting boat on a charcoal sea. A lifeline is attached, teasing me. While treading water my arms reach out as far as they can go. Far, far out. Farther still. Spitting water, I struggle while grasping at nothing. Is it the dream or the lifeline that calls out to me? Then, with one more wave washing over, I’m under. When I surface, my dream together with the boat has disappeared…..
In the darkness before dawn I woke with a start. Feeling out of breath, I broke out in a sweat trying to remember what my mind played only seconds before. It was as if I saw an old-fashioned picture show. With a quilt tucked under my chin, I heard the sounds of my breathing. In and out…in and out. Then, I held my breath to hear what ‘nothing’ sounded like. Stop for a second. Have you ever heard it? The sound of quiet air all around you in the silent of the night?
Exactly a year ago today, I became ill. I’ve written about it often here. After recuperating, I was left with a condition known as paresis, meaning I had a paralyzed vocal cord, http://wp.me/s41md8-sounds. There is a connection here to the dream that played within my pillowed head a short time ago.
Left on a gurney in the operating room, I saw several faces looking down at me from above. Too close to my own, they invaded my space wearing green masks over moving mouths. The scene reminded me of a re-run from an old television show called, The Twilight Zone. As a young girl, I remember being disturbed by this particular episode. It was like passing an automobile accident on a highway. I knew not to look, but I turned back to sneak a peek…forever sorry at the horror before me.
I haven’t met with my potential surgeon for a final consultation, but I see him within the next few weeks. My referring physician did not feel ‘comfortable’ doing such a “delicate” procedure. Perhaps this is why I am so anxious? She assures me however, that her colleague is excellent at this precise operation and has done many of them. I will keep you posted.
Hopefully, there will soon be an end to my sore throat together with my daily vocal exercises. I will swallow water without pain, enjoy the taste of food once again, gain some weight and most importantly, have the full use of my speaking voice. Day after day, God’s treasured gifts are taken for granted.
We do not need to look far to see what they are…..