As the year comes to a close my fingers click white lettered keys on a borrowed black laptop with mixed emotions. I started my blog this past October as a novel idea, not exactly sure of what I was doing, where I was going or what to expect. To be blunt, I knew nothing. Like many other writers I bet.
In the spring of last year on Easter in fact. a respiratory illness befell me. Most of my body bounced back except for my throat. I had no voice! Who would think such a thing? For months I went to five different doctors and endured every kind of test. I lost weight. I couldn’t eat. I had a sore throat. Some doctors came up with a “diagnosis.” I didn’t trust them. Nothing made sense. One day I sounded like a “Member of the Mob.” The next I could have been “Kermit the Frog.”
The ironic thing is that I’ve found a different way to speak. My new voice became this little blog of mine. My way to communicate, my way to speak. If I wouldn’t have gotten sick, perhaps I never would have found this new “voice” of mine? Surely I wouldn’t have met all of you out there.
Last month I saw the very best specialist at the very best hospital here in St. Louis. The doctor had done his homework. He read thick files of records and examined my swollen throat. He listened to me croak. An ultra-sound machine was brought in to look at my vocal cords. A probe was stuck in my mouth while he asked me to sing. Poor doctor! His face lit up like a light bulb all aglow. He knew….he had an answer for me then! Paresis. Simply put, it means that I have one vocal cord paralyzed, while the other is currently “less than perfect.”
How relieved to know what is wrong with me, to have a diagnosis! Happier still to know that I will get better in the coming new year. I share this with you because my treatment may impact my writing schedule. Soon, I will be going to vocal therapy every month. Doctors will assess my progress to see how it is working or if it is not. I have “Plan B” followed by “Plan C” which is surgery, keeping that as my last option.
What I find amazing is how God works in such mysterious ways. The Lessons He teaches, the Blessings He leaves. God gives us obstacles in life, leaving us treasures to discover along the way. I was not able to speak, yet He gave me a new voice in order to communicate. I’m writing in a genre new to me, one I never thought possible! He’s introduced me to friends all around the world. People I don’t know, yet I’ve come to care so much for them. I have a new sense of purpose in life because I write words on a screen rather than speak them aloud.
Thank you to my “Readers” for always being with me since the first day I began. For supporting me, for your prayers, for telling your friends. I will not let you down, I promise. My schedule may lighten a bit and I’m not quite sure what to expect. But, I will be writing here.
Thank you, too, for all of your wonderfully written blogs. They challenge my mind, help me to cook, inspire me, make me laugh and cry, and bring me closer to God. I thank you from the bottom of my heart and soul.
I wish for you a Happy, Healthy New Year and the very best of 2014.